If you’re not sure where to start to try new things in bed or you’ve just met someone and want to look like an expert, these tricks can help you pretend to be what you’re not.
Whether we want it or not, whether when we are starting a new relationship or if we want to improve our life as a couple, sex is one of the most important parts.
Whether because we barely know the other person enough to ask or suggest what we like, or because there is such excess of confidence that we go ahead without worrying about introducing improvements, innovating in bed is not as common as it should be Dominatrix Seattle.
In general, we all want to be left with the feeling of doing well and feeling like good lovers . But satisfying the other person while ensuring our own joy is not always easy and sex can be as magical as it is uncomfortable. It all depends on how we handle the situation or what we are able to make people believe.
Coming across an uncomfortable moment in bed from which we do not know how to emerge victorious has a simpler solution than it seems. At least that’s what Anna Davies puts it in Shape where she collects some tips to “add a little extra heat to the bedroom ” from sexology experts.
If you are not sure where to start to try new things in bed or you have just met someone and want to look like a true expert – or at least not like you have just come out of celibacy – these 6 tricks can help you appear like you are Sex for you is a breeze. As Tammy Nelson , sex therapist and author of Getting the Sex You Want (Quiver), says, with these tips you will look “like a pro and master sexual relationships no matter your level of experience.”
- The staging: help yourself with surprise elements
Enough of nerves, comparisons or frustrations. As Mark Michaels, co-author of Partners in Passion (Cleis Press), says, “ sex should be fun , and trying something new is guaranteed to change things.”
Helping you with other elements can be the key to supporting your staging. From lingerie, a sex toy, warm lights and candles, a relaxing massage or simply sending a spicy message beforehand to get your lover into the situation, it will help you recreate the ideal scenario and convey the idea that you know what you are doing and This is not new to you.
- Pauses to set the pace
As they say, rush is not a good advisor and if there is something that is left over in bed, it is precisely the stress of finishing quickly. Are you getting tired of your posture, are you going to get a cramp or are you not directly drowning ? Whether because you don’t take good care of yourself physically or because you had almost forgotten how to practice this type of “sport”, the solution is very simple: take breaks.
It is important to take advantage of the breaks to kiss, caress or massage the other person so that it is not a drop from one hundred to zero . Remaining active during breaks will ensure that no one leaves the scene and we maintain interest and connection.
- Pose and attitude
Showing passion and interest in what we are doing will help us show more confidence in front of the other person and appear that we know what we are doing. “ No matter what you’re doing , enthusiasm is much more important than technique,” says Michaels.
- Take charge of the game
One of the most common sexual fantasies among women is precisely to feel dominated in bed. There are also many men who enjoy when they come across a dominatrix . Davies says that taking the lead in the relationship “can help you better arouse their erogenous zones,” which, in his opinion, “are harder to find when both people are actively ‘working’.”
The idea is to convey the message that an exchange of roles can be done : “don’t move and today I’m in charge and the next day you’re in charge.” Of course, the fact that there will be a future meeting will also depend on how good or bad we are at dominating. As for tastes, colors , the best thing in these cases is to ask.
- Stare into the eyes
“It sounds corny, but by focusing on looking into their eyes you’ll keep the focus away from what’s going on below the belt,” Michaels jokes.
Looking into each other’s eyes always helps to achieve a special and more intense connection than if we limit ourselves to moaning and closing our eyes (“what is he visualizing in his mind?” some perverse minds might ask…), “especially during oral sex. ” where the gestures and signals of your facial expressions are key,” points out the sexology expert.
- The importance of after sex
Maybe you missed getting to the point where we praise the magic of foreplay . These are always necessary and, if you know how to handle them correctly, they can make you look like a true expert. What is almost never talked about is the affection that should be given after reaching climax , and they are just as important.
A recent study from the University of Toronto, Mississauga, found that post-sex behavior, including kissing, hugging or talking in a loving tone, helped strengthen and improve sexual satisfaction.